T-Time ~ A Date in History
July 5, 1985 probably doesn’t mean much to many people but to me, it was a turning point in my life.
“The wedding ring goes on the left ring finger because it is the only finger with a vein that connects to the heart” ~ Unknown
You see, on that date, I married a wonderful man. A man that was waiting for me to move to Michigan so that he could find me and ask me to become his wife. Let me share our story with you.
In my first blog, I wrote about how much I had moved around as a kid and when my parents said that they were moving to Michigan, I wasn’t happy about it but since I was doing only part time jobs, not enough to support myself, I moved with them. Yep, they couldn’t get rid of me. My future husband, Don, attended the church that my dad had accepted a job at and if you went by first impressions, I didn’t make a very good one. I was not my usual sunshiney self that day because I did NOT want to be in Michigan and yes, I had a lot of growing up to do. As I settled into my life here and started making friends with people in the church, Don and I started talking or rather, I started to tease him. Let me put it this way, he had no idea what he was getting himself into with me! My husband was a quiet, shy man, an honest man and a devoted man. You know that song that Chris Young sings about in “The Man I Want to Be”, well my husband is pretty much that man. I moved to Michigan in June and we started dating in October. How did I get his attention after my horrible first impression? Well, I made sure to be standing by the door to talk to people as they were leaving the church after service especially when I knew he was getting ready to leave. As I would shake his hand, he would always blush, yes blush, (I told you he was quiet and shy) so I did it just to see his reaction (that little red devil was sitting on my shoulder)…it worked and he asked me out and our first date was in October of 1984.
Remember when I said that he was quiet and I wasn’t? Well, our first date consisted of me taking my sandals off in the front seat of his Pontiac Bonneville and making myself comfortable. He will tell you that he just sat there and let me “chirp” away. Of course, I wasn’t rude and made it all about me, although I do have a lot of interesting stories to tell…I did ask him a lot of questions about himself. He was so quiet that I had to draw it out of him but I am persistent. In March of 1985, he asked me to marry him and we decided that July would be a good month…the date was set for July 5th. I told him that I would give him one more Independence Day before he got shackled.
This past July 5th, we celebrated 29 years of marriage. How have we survived the trials that we’ve hit along the way, mutual respect and a lot of prayer. He has seen me through infertility treatments, the birth of two wonderful boys, learning of our boys’ hearing issues, my parents’ divorce and other struggles that I have personally gone through. We’ve had our differences but one thing that we have always been is willing to listen to each other. So many young couples are not willing to listen to what their partner is telling them, they just get so caught up in their own thoughts. When our boys were little and if Don and I started to disagree on something, they would ask us, are you getting a divorce? Isn’t it ashame that because of what they heard kids talk about at school and what they would see on television that they were worried about that, just because we had a little disagreement? I don’t think that we’ve ever “yelled” at each other, if it happened, I would be the one to have done it. Too many people are willing to toss in the towel and not truly work on their relationship and willing to see that they were wrong (it does happen to the best of us occasionally) and asking for forgiveness. Being married is not all about that squishy, lovey dovey stuff ALL the time…there are some days, that it’s just best to be by yourself and let the bad feelings pass by. But marriage is about commitment, sticking it out, being respectful of each other’s space and of each other’s person. I’ve never been one to have a honey-do list, I’ve always figured that we’re both adults and we can see what needs to be done, besides, if I started one for him, I’m afraid that I would wake up one morning and find a whole book of things that he would want me to do, so I just leave it alone.
My one wish in life is that Don and I have shown our boys what a true marriage is and that they will honor the commitment that they may make one day. It’s not about perfection and changing someone to what you think they should be, it’s about acceptance for who that person is.
Thank you letting me share my love story and may you be blessed with one of your own.